for
WEDDINGS AT
ST. MARY MOTHER OF THE CHURCH
(Revised August 1, 2008)
INTRODUCTION
In
the beautiful words of the Catechism of
the Catholic Church:
…Christian marriage in its
turn becomes an efficacious sign, the sacrament of the covenant of Christ and
the Church. Since it signifies and
communicates grace, marriage between baptized persons is a true sacrament of
the New Covenant (1617).
Sacramental marriage is a
liturgical act. It is therefore
appropriate that it should be celebrated in the public liturgy of the
Church…(1631).
From
this, one can easily see that the celebration of a wedding in the Roman
Catholic Church is first and foremost a sacred event and not some glorified
civil ceremony/social gathering. It is
also an act of the Church’s public
worship. The attitude that, “It’s my
wedding and I can do whatever I choose,” betrays not only a lack of knowledge
of what the celebration of a Catholic Church wedding is, but also a lack of
appreciation for its sacramental/liturgical character. Because the celebration of any sacrament is a
matter of the Church’s public worship and not an individual’s private affair,
the Church, and in particular the local church parish, is duty bound to
regulate how the celebration is to occur.
Although
every attempt has been made to retain a certain amount of flexibility to allow
for legitimate individual expression in the Church’s public worship regarding
the celebration of a wedding, it is because of the years of experience –
unfortunately, often times negative – that require certain of the following
regulations in order that the dignity of the sacramental celebration of
marriage is safeguarded and be a sacred event to be remembered and cherished.
General Church Law
1.
Place
of Wedding: Marriages between two
Roman Catholics should take place in the parish church of either the bride or
the groom. A marriage between a Roman
Catholic and a baptized Non-Catholic should take place in the parish church of
the Catholic party unless a dispensation from Canonical Form has been
granted. A marriage between a Roman
Catholic and a non-baptized person should be celebrated in the church parish of
the Catholic party unless a dispensation from Canonical Form has been
granted. In the latter two cases, if
circumstances warrant and the priest/deacon of the Catholic party so
recommends, the Diocesan Bishop may permit a marriage to be celebrated in a
suitable place other than a Catholic Church or chapel. Such determination must be left to the
discretion of the Diocesan Bishop.
2.
Participation
in a determined time of preparation and assessment.
3. Interfaith Marriages: In an interfaith marriage between a Roman Catholic and a baptized person of another Christian denomination or a non-baptized person, the Catholic party must promise, in the presence of the Non-Catholic party, to live the Catholic faith and to do all in his/her power to baptize and raise any children in the active practice of the Catholic faith. In the case of an interfaith marriage, the ceremony will consist of the Liturgy of the Word and the Rite of Marriage. A Nuptial Mass will not be celebrated nor is a Communion Service permitted.
Diocesan Policy
During
the time prior to the wedding, the couple is to:
·
identify and
cultivate their strengths;
·
deal with the
areas of difficulty in their relationship;
·
participate in
assessment and preparation;
·
recognize that
marriage is essentially characterized by unity, fidelity, permanence, and an
openness to children;
·
attend one of
the formal diocesan marriage preparation programs;
·
participate in
premarital evaluation and counseling, when recommended.
St. Mary Mother of the Church Wedding Policy
1. Availability of the Church
St. Mary Mother of the Church is available for weddings of registered parishioners, their children and those interested in becoming parishioners. The pastor should be contacted 9-12 months before the wedding date, which should be discussed with the pastor.
2. Times for Weddings
Friday: 7:00
PM
Saturday: 10:00
AM or 1:00 PM
There are no
weddings celebrated on Saturday evening (after the 4:30 PM Anticipated Mass);
on Sunday all day and evening; on the evening before a Holy Day of Obligation
and on the Holy Day of Obligation itself; or at certain privileged times during
the Church'’ liturgical year, e.g., Holy Week.
3. Initial Interview
·
At the initial
interview (or shortly thereafter), if both are Roman Catholic, each party must
provide a recent baptismal certificate issued within the last six months with
all notations on the rear. These
respective certificates, with the notations on the rear, establish the couple’s
freedom to marry as well as to note the date and place of Confirmation.
·
The couple will
be given an explanation of what is required of them in the marriage preparation
process and will be registered for one of the formal diocesan marriage
preparation programs.
· The couple will be given a chance to read the policies contained herein and indicate their understanding of same.
4.
The Rehearsal
·
There will be a
$125 fee for the St. Mary Church Wedding Director to conduct the rehearsal and
to be present the day of the wedding. No
other wedding coordinator will be allowed.
·
Rehearsals are
usually held at 6:00 PM one or two evenings prior to the wedding. The day and time is negotiable with the
aforementioned Wedding Director.
· Music
is not to be rehearsed at this time.
·
No food or
drink, especially alcohol, is allowed in any of the buildings.
·
Alcohol is not permitted on church property, (e.g. trolley, limousine,
bus, etc.)
·
No smoking is
allowed in any of the buildings.
·
The couple is
expected to bring the Marriage License
to the rehearsal for partial signing.
The Marriage License must be obtained from the Court House no sooner
than thirty (30) days and no later than three (3) days before the wedding. The marriage license is valid for thirty (30
days from the date of issuance. To
obtain this license, both parties will need Birth Certificates and Social
Security Numbers (For further information, including fees, call the Clerk of
Court Office, 233-0150)
5. Attire of Wedding Party
The attire of the wedding party,
especially the bride and the bridesmaids, should reflect the dignity and
sacredness of the Catholic Rite of Marriage. When meeting with the pastor more
specific guidelines will be discussed. Therefore, it is best that this not be
decided until after the initial meeting with the pastor.
6. The
Ceremony
·
Officiant: It is
presumed that a priest/deacon assigned to St. Mary Church will serve as
officiant of the wedding. Should the
couple desire another priest/deacon to officiate at the wedding, delegation is
readily and gladly given by the Pastor of St. Mary Church to any Catholic
priest/deacon who is in good standing in the Church. Mention of this desire is to be made by the
couple at the initial interview. It is
understood that any guest priest/deacon officiant will strictly abide by the
policies contained herein.
In an interfaith marriage, the presence
of the Non-Catholic party’s minister is certainly welcome. He/she may participate in a very limited
capacity.
·
Sanctuary
Furniture: The removal or rearrangement of any furniture
(altar, celebrant’s chair, pulpit, candles, etc.) in the sanctuary (altar area)
is strictly prohibited. It is also not
permitted to remove any decorations being used for liturgical purposes that may
be present in the church and/or sanctuary.
·
Attendants: The bridal
party is limited to six (6) bridesmaids, including the Maid/Matron of Honor,
and six- (6) groomsmen, including the Best Man.
In addition, only children five years (5) of age or older may
participate as Ring Bearer and/or Flower Girl.
There is to be no “Junior Bridesmaid or Groomsman” regardless of the
ages of the children.
·
Attire of Wedding Party: The attire of the wedding party, especially the
bride and the bridesmaids, should reflect the dignity and sacredness of the
Catholic Rite of Marriage. When meeting with the pastor more specific
guidelines will be discussed. Therefore, it is best that this not be decided
until after the initial meeting with the pastor.
· Music: There is a rich treasury of appropriate sacred/liturgical music for use during the wedding ceremony. Therefore, secular music is best reserved for the reception after the wedding. St. Mary has a qualified organist who plays for all St. Mary Church weddings. The fee is $175. If rehearsals are required a $30 fee for each rehearsal is charged. The parish organist will also help the couple select vocalists and/or other instrumentalists, or the couple may select their own.
An exception for a guest organist is made only if the guest organist is qualified and experienced in playing a Roger’s Digital Computer Organ. Is this case, a $75 consultant fee is to be paid to the St. Mary Church organist. This charge is for music selection approval, set-up of microphones, and meeting with the guest organist concerning our instruments.
·
Flowers: Florist may
bring arrangements 2 hours prior to the beginning of the wedding ceremony. Permission to bring arrangements earlier must
be obtained from the Wedding Director. Flower
arrangements may be placed under the statues of Mary and
Unless the floral arrangements are
left for church use after the wedding, all floral arrangements and decorations
must be cleared from the church immediately
following the ceremony. (If the floral
arrangements or decorations are to be left for church use after the ceremony,
please contact the church office in advance so that there will be no plans for
other flowers that weekend.)
The use of rice, flower petals, confetti, bubbles; etc. are not permitted in the church or on the church grounds.
·
Photography: Only one
(1) official still photographer, with hand-held camera, is allowed for the
wedding. No additional equipment is
allowed. Only the official photographer is allowed to take pictures and must
check-in with the Celebrant prior to the wedding. Photograph sessions are NOT allowed before the wedding inside St. Mary
church. Pictures can be taken outside
the church before and after the wedding.
An additional thirty (30) minutes may be used to photograph family group
pictures on the steps of the sanctuary after the wedding.
·
Video
Taping: It is recommended that a licensed videographer
be used. Only one (1) videographer with
a self-contained, battery operated shoulder OR tripod mounted camera is
allowed. Video sessions are NOT allowed before the wedding inside the church, but
may be taken after the wedding while the photographer takes his/her
pictures. Videos can be taken outside
the church before and after the wedding.
· Candles: Candles are permitted down the aisle of the church provided that they are encased in glass. Candelabras or other candle arrangements in the sanctuary (altar area) are not permitted.
The use of the Unity Candle is not permitted. This is a secular symbol that is not provided for in the church’s liturgy for marriage.
·
Aisle
Runner: No runner of any kind is allowed over the beautiful
carpet in the aisle of the church.
· Bridal Room: We provide a special room in Founders Hall for the specific purpose of aiding the bride and bridesmaids in dressing prior to the ceremony. The Bridal Room is available 2 ½ hours before the beginning of the ceremony. The groom and groomsmen must arrive at the church already dressed in their wedding attire and are to wait in the Conference Room across from the sacristy in the church.
·
Cry
Room: Please be aware that our church has a “Cry Room” for
parents with small children. It is
located near the side/handicapped entrance to the church.
· Food & Drinks: No food or drinks allowed in any of the buildings. No smoking is allowed in any of the buildings.
·
Alcohol:
No
alcohol permitted on church grounds (e.g. trolley, limousine, bus, etc.)